Connect With Your Kind, Wise Self: A Surprisingly Powerful Practice to Manage Feelings in this Difficult Time!

The COVID pandemic has been a strange and unprecedented time around the world. And it was hard to sit there and wait, feeling powerless and uncertain. At times I (like many others) have felt waves of fear and anxiety.

And it’s really, really important to look at and feel feelings like these. Why? Well there are a number of reasons, but here’s a really interesting one:

Did you know that neuroscience research has shown that when we’re compassionate, our courage grows; that having empathy, understanding and being willing to be with ourselves in difficulty actually increases our courage?

So when we feel difficult feelings, apply Fierce Kindness!

What does this look like?

Well, Fierce Kindness is a courageous kindness that doesn’t look away from difficulty or challenge.

So instead of avoiding your feelings, set aside time regularly to check-in with what you’re feeling—accept and actually feel them—mentally taking care of yourself.

Start by imagining you have a kind, wise self.

This kind, wise self is already a part of you. It’s unflappable, intelligent and sometimes fierce. And it’s never mean or petty. It unconditionally loves you. ALL of you.

  • Take a moment to consider what they look like, how they dress, how they sound, the energy you feel from them.
  • Now, when you need it, imagine that kind, wise self is with you, supporting you, maybe giving you a hug – and saying exactly what you need to hear (not just the sugary stuff, but also the tough love and common sense).

Ironically, it’s looking closer at, embracing and soothing our unpleasant feelings that stops our fear and worry from taking over. And this practice also leads to a larger feeling of acceptance and inner peace.

For some more tips on managing our feelings, you may like this “3 As Model” to Compassionately Manage your Difficult Feelings.

Our emotions have a mind of their own, one which can hold views quite independently of our rational mind. Daniel Goleman

To Wrap Up

We’re taught that feelings are ‘irrational’, and to overcome feelings with logic. Yet one of the biggest issues I see when people are unhappy or dissatisfied with life is that they’re disconnected from what they feel.

And it’s our feelings that let us know what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Especially right now.

This crisis is an opportunity to re-learn how to connect with—and feel—our feelings.

So when you feel uncomfortable in the coming weeks – whether it’s fear, frustration, boredom, anger, sadness or something else, be KIND and compassionate with yourself.

Not only will this boost your courage, but this essential practice for happiness will also serve you in the decades to come.

I’ll leave you with a final quote:

“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” Benjamin Disraeli

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