Reclaim Rest: Use Fierce Kindness to Break Free from “Always On” Culture

Woman resting, smiling with eyes closed on sofa

Are you doing too much? Tired from constantly trying to fit everything in? Perhaps you’re feeling exhausted and/or burned out? 

If so you’re not alone. And even though I teach Fierce Kindness I am not immune to the drive to always be doing. In fact, it’s where Fierce Kindness comes from—a response to the culture of constant doing. Fierce Kindness is what helped me stand up and say, “Enough!” to myself and the world around me.

But it’s hard to resist this “always on” and “always doing” culture:

  • Our current system of Capitalism needs us to be productive. Capitalism wants us to work hard and then spend what we earn buying more stuff.
  • In the workplace, corporations need our bodies, our time and our energy to produce and make money.
  • But (and this is insidious), in our personal time, corporations also need (and manipulate) our attention. Especially online corporations. Social Media, search engines, even television and websites want our attention so they can sell, influence, advertise and get us to buy more stuff—and keep the money flowing (their way).

It’s not just external forces that drain us and make us tired—we do it to ourselves too.

We overcommit in our personal lives—and in our careers or businesses.

And when we have children and/or additional responsibilties to unwell or aging parents or relatives this effect is multiplied.

The result is we do not have enough downtime. We do not have enough time, space and energy to relax fully, never mind sleep properly.

We’re all exhausted! Angry Woman

Yet sadly, underneath it all is this feeling (it’s really a belief…), that we haven’t yet done enough to earn rest. And that we are simply not good enough—just as we are.

I believe it’s this last that enables capitalism and corporations to exploit us. Because if we believed we were good enough and had done enough, we would listen to ourselves and bodies. We would say “No” more. We would rest more (without guilt). We would feel better about ourselves, sleep better and make kinder, wiser choices. And we would be more resilient too!

So how do we break out of this cycle?

Well, I believe it starts with breaking our own rules about productivity. We need to disprove our beliefs about ourselves, what’s expected of us—and how we should work.

Fierce Kindness can help!

A personal example: After finishing the book, “Rest is Resistance” by Tricia Hersey last Sunday, I made a Fiercely Kind decision to use first thing Monday morning for inspiration, napping and breaking the rule that I should always be productive! And as I write this I’m already more fired up, my brain is humming with ideas, and it’s not even 10am yet.

But one thing that didn’t come across in my example above is how EXTRAordinary this is for me.

To choose downtime on the first working day of the week. To not be working right away on Monday morning. It may sound like this was easy, but it’s a big step for me. And yet again, without Fierce Kindness, I would not have been able to take this step.

Fierce Kindness is a way of being A beautiful vintage poppy

Fierce Kindness is an approach to life, a way of being. And it’s also a wellspring of energy that helps us overcome our fears and limiting beliefs. It’s courage and determination that is  deeply connected to who we are—rooted in kindness.

Fierce Kindness gives us the strength to be kind to ourselves and say “No” to this ‘always on’ culture. To say “No” to others and, as needed, to ourselves. To make time for sweet, precious and soulful rest.

Because not only does rest make us better people for those we love, it also creates vital breathing space that allows us to step back and see the truth of this toxic culture and belief system we live within.

This is not easy work. It’s deep, meaningful—and challenging.

And those of you who receive this newsletter are already on this path!

My mission through the Fierce Kindness newsletter is to—each week—move you just that little bit closer to a deeper connection to yourself and others, a meaningful life you love, where we are KIND and help make the world a better place.

So on that note, and because Fierce Kindness means we are always learning and growing, I have some questions for you this week around rest.

7 Questions to Ponder the Meaning and Benefit of Rest to You!

Grab your journal (or go for a walk) and ponder these questions: Hand with Butterflies

  1. What does rest mean for you? What does it look like?
    • Think sleep, naps, walks, baths, social media detox, yoga, staring out of the window, deep breathing, reading, a retreat, solitude, silence—and more.
  2. What benefits can you see to resting more?
    • Consider: Family and Friends, Career or Business, Parenting and/or Caregiving, Your Finances, Physical Health, Mental Health, Home Environment, Leisure Time and Personal or Spiritual Growth.
  3. How could you thread more conscious moments of rest throughout your life?
    • Don’t wait for something big… It could be anything from a single minute you take for yourself to a full blown vacation or retreat.
  4. Imagine you are living life from a space of feeling rested. How would this impact your life—and the lives of those around you?
    • Notice that I did not say more rested, it says “feeling rested”—as in you have achieved this state of being…
    • Also notice how your mind reacts to the idea of living your life from a fully rested place: Can you imagine it? Does your mind seize up or think it’s impossible? If so, how interesting is that!?
  5. How, where and when do you stop yourself from resting?
  6. When specifically could you claim more rest?
  7. Ponder the words rest, tenderness, heartfelt, freedom, soulful, divine, peace, trust, truth and love.
    • How do these words make you feel?

Finally, (how) could you make more rest a daily or weekly habit?

Make a difference in your life: Is there one place in your life daily or weekly where you could commit to bringing in more rest for you?

  • What would you love to do that is more restful?
  • If you struggle to think of anything “doable”, what existing habits or activities do you do on a daily basis that you could tag on a few extra moments or minutes of conscious rest? (eg. when you wake up, staring out the window over breakfast or lunch, a little longer in the bath, reading before bed)
  • Or perhaps there is something you do weekly where you could shift your intensity, your approach and either add rest, or do it more restfully (as in my earlier example)?

Wrap-up Fierce Kindness Logo

I hope this article was helpful, enjoyable and challenging—in an uplifting and exciting way. That it helps you contemplate rest and bring more rest into your own life.

And personally, I hope that my new restful Monday mornings will lead to more inspiring articles that come from the heart, as this one did.

If this spoke to you, or you have any questions or requests simply comment below.

If you liked this article about rest, you may also like:

Image of Woman resting, smiling with eyes closed on sofa by PeopleImages – Yuri A via Shutterstock

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