Authentic Kindness or People Pleasing? 7 Questions to Ask Yourself

If you’re wondering: Am I a people pleaser? Well, this handout and tool is for you 🙂

This tool was created for our very first community gathering, all about understanding the differences between Authentic Kindness and people pleasing or being “nice”.

People pleasing and being “nice” is something many of us are trained to do from a young age, and it often comes from a place of wanting to help others.

But all too often, we sacrifice our own wishes and needs so that others are kept ‘happy’. Instead of caring for ourselves, all too often we focus instead on gaining the approval of others, keeping the social fabric intact—or avoiding judgement or rejection.

Well, this tool helps you begin to think about what might be going on for you—with some helpful tips and questions you can ask yourself as needed.

So here’s how you can use this Authentic Kindness ‘v’ People Pleasing resource:

Review the handout, the 7 differences expressed and the questions and tips provided. Then:

• As you read, consider which of the 7 elements and questions resonate with you.
• Then next time you’re in a situation where you’re unsure if it’s Authentic Kindness or you’re People Pleasing, simply ask yourself the questions that work for you.
• You can also journal around these questions to go deeper into a specific pattern, or help you resolve a specific issue.

Another thing you can do is share this handout with others who might find it helpful.

Finally, if you liked this printable PDF that helps you figure out if you’re a people pleaser, you may also like:

• Am I Too Nice For My Own Good? With 10 Signs to Help You Decide
• When is it OK to say “No”? | With Helpful Graphics!
• 5 Empowering Tips to Say “No” with Kindness, Ease and Grace!