Being Kind in Divisive Times: Wisdom, Tips & Ideas from The Kindness Community!

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This month’s Kindness Gathering was beautiful. We had a new format—with 3 breakouts (“speed dating” someone called it), where people got to meet each other, get inspired and share ideas & wisdom with like-minded people.

And there were so many great ideas and themes in this month’s gathering that I wanted to “round them up” into an article to share with the whole Fierce Kindness Community. And here it is!

How to Be (and Stay) Kind in Divisive Times

This kindness gathering was based around a quote by David W. Augsberger:

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

From there we discussed what we love about this idea, how it applies to current times, the issues with it and possible solutions, as well as any other ideas people had to be and stay kind in these times.

Wisdom from Your Kindness Community!

It is truly beautiful to be seen and heard without judgement!

So let’s offer that to others: be kind and give someone the space to be heard.

Curiosity is key

Curiosity is a way we can get to the space of listening without judgement.
Try an approach of genuine inquiry: “Help me understand why your point of view is more persuasive than mine.”
Ask questions, be in the inquiry mode—but not in an accusatory or manipulative adversarial way.
Then the challenge might become: What do I do now that I can see both sides?!

Listen with your Heart

When you’re listening deeply you’re listening with your heart.
Listening from the heart means listening with empathy—and judgement can’t seep in!

It can help to clarify the purpose of a conversation…

Be clear on what people want from a conversation—agreeing the parameters or what’s expected beforehand.

Listen to truly hear, not make your own point

When we listen, listen to really hear what the other person has to say, not to prove ourselves or make our point.

Listen to understand! What is their “Why”?

Listen with curiosity and context.
Try to understand the why behind what they’re saying—and stay curious about where they’re trying to get to.

Be patient with ourselves too: deep listening is a practice!

Be patient with (and kind to) ourselves—because listening without judgement can be hard, especially with people close to us.
Remember that deep listening is a skill—and a practice.

It all begins with Self-Awareness

We need to remember that we all have natural cultural biases—and that confirmation bias can lead to unhelpful assumptions.
So don’t jump to conclusions. Just listen.
Step 1) is simply being aware of what is going on within ourselves.

Get people into their hearts

Ask: How does that make you feel?

Taking a pause is essential

When we meet someone very different to us, take a reflective pause. And then operate out of curiosity.
Come back to your own centre and then be curious.

Maintain positive intentions!

Think about our intentions as we head into difficult conversations or interactions.
Commit to staying grounded, calm and peaceful in the conversation.
Make a conscious decision to engage with people in a different way.

Share meals together ¹

Break bread/eat and share stories and food with others!
Use getting food together to find common ground.

¹ Sharing meals was specifically mentioned in the 2025 World Happiness report as an important factor in making us happier!

If you reach a stalemate, stay in peace and kindness with each other

If you’re in a difficult conversation, you can always “Agree to disagree” and stay in a state of love with each other.
We see things differently, and I still love you / Just because we differ on this one topic, that doesn’t change how I feel about you.

We are made up of the stars!

Don’t ‘other’ people: there is no lesser or greater.
Go from IQ to WeQ.
Remember that other people are no different than we are. We’re all made up of the same molecules!